Undeaducation Review: Zombies! Zombies! Zombies!

After about a month and a half of being lazy I had a bout of energy so I finally finished my very first review. The Movie is "Zombies! Zombies! Zombies!"

I hope you enjoy it.



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The Savior Guide Part 3

Jumping back into the action I am here to present you with a great little article, in my opinion. But where the second edition of The Savior Guide seemed to be me trying just to be funny I went back to the original and tried my best to capture the feel and emptied my mind of all things except what I wanted I will say I did get a few moments where I threw a few jokes in that I think worked and added as I thought of them. So hopefully this will be as good as the original if not better but hopefully just not as bad as the 2nd. So sadly no groups just a few favorites.

Name: Todd "ToddInTheShadows" Nathanson

Gender: Male (For all we know)

Body type: Lean (For all we know)

Age (approximate): We assume he is 22 but his real age could be anything from 11 (He's been playing for 11 years) to 69.

Skills: Playing Piano (Ability to read music), can blend into a crowd

Bio: ToddInTheShadows has been a blogger on TGWTG.com and musical talent on YouTube until 2010. He was a fan of the site for a long time before deciding to become part of the Channel Awesome family. He found the site through “5 Second Movies” before the site went live in April of 2008. He's a reviewer of current pop songs that are bad, and plans to expand into the realm of past music in the future.

He has alternately claimed that he hides his face to protect his position as a Sunday school teacher, as a secret agent, and as White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs. At other times, he has said that he doesn't want his face attached to the "hamburger incident." His image-consciousness led him to do his reviews in profile silhouette, which adds to his mysteriousness.

Todd claims that he didn't get into pop music until an incident in 2007 when the antenna came off of his car. Because he didn't have money to fix it, he listened to pop music over and over because that was the only station that came on, and eventually he got into it.

Show/site: Todd's Pop Song Reviews (Nothing special by way of title, but don't judge the series by the title)
ToddInTheShadows YouTube, ToddInTheShadows on TGWTG

(In a zombie situations, unless they are relevant)
Pros: Can withstand high amounts of torture (he listens to pop music by choice for God sake!), He like the ninja can hide in the shadows

Cons: Might be a zombie in disguise, hard to find to save or exterminate (unlike Waldo), Might secretly enjoy Hannah Montana, Might be watching us masturbate

Name: Lewis "Linkara" Lovhaug

Gender: He is a Man!

Body type: Average

Age (approximate): 23

Skills: Very articulate, can be imposing, capable of organizing a large scale rebellion, leadership skills, it has been reported that he has a mean p-p-p-pokerface

Bio: Linkara is the pseudonym for Lewis Lovhaug, a Minnesotan comic book reviewer and author. The name comes from a series of self-published books that he wrote at ages 14-19 (and subsequently plans to revisit since he wants to revise them to fix plot problems, characterizations, and various other mistakes he made because he was young and inexperienced). Linkara was one of the earliest pick-ups of channel awesome becoming a flagship member of the site. Linkara's videos are probably most notable for the amount of quotes he has generated as well as his avoidance of using profanity

Show/site: Atop the Fourth Wall, 5 Panel Comics and History of the Power Rangers
Atop The Fourth Wall Blog, Linkara on TGWTG

(In a zombie situations, unless they are relevant)
Pros: During the Year 2 Event: Kickassia Linkara lead the forces of Channel Awesome in a successful rebellion against the Nostalgia Critic, According to a firsthand account by AngryJoe Linkara can bluff with the best of them, defeated a nearly undefeatable enemy with the help of his loyal allies

Cons: A nasty Wasty (so says the Critic), maybe a little too caring, when the opportunity to rise in power Linkara was instantly power mad, maybe a little too chummy with the undead (His "magic" gun)

Name: Phelan "Phelous" Porteous

Gender: Male

Body type: Average to slightly muscular

Age (approximate): 25

Skills: ability to remain cool under pressure, healing Factory, death immunity, mastery of editing

Bio: Phelous is a Canadian citizen and mainly reviews Horror films. Phelous was picked up on the site around December 2008 with his video Mac and Me, and Mike asked users to post their opinions on him. It seemed to be divided right down the middle. Mike then posted a few more Phelous videos such as "Phelous Knows What He Shouldn't Have Watched Last Summer" and "Funny Games" before Phelous officially became a member of the site.

Show/site: Phelous (Phelous Who [?])
Phelous.com, Phelous on TGWTG

(In a zombie situations, unless they are relevant)
Pros: He's got a shotgun, His constant death either means he is immune to the zombie virus or he is the first in a line of super zombies, Hates Eli Roth (like most people should), possible Time Lord

Cons: He might be one of those quite ones everyone says it always is, Might be a genetically superior super zombie, very uncreative (Phelous' unnamed show), Canadian

Name: Nash "Nash" Bozard

Gender: Male

Body type: overweight

Age (approximate): 37

Skills: can take continued mental strain without breaking, unparalleled common sense, management skills

Bio: Nash is known on the TGWTG.com forums as the man behind "What the Fuck Is Wrong with You?” a show where he looks at people doing strange or just plain idiotic things. Outside the website, Nash is responsible for RadioDeadAir.com, a live show that's been in the running for ten years. He was announced as a contributor on the 58th edition of Transmission Awesome. The Origins of Radio Dead Air started in a role-playing game in character where it later grew into its own series. Every week Nash suffers through the worst the internet has to offer taking stories that would break any ordinary man in an instance. And you can send them to him!

Show/site: WTFIWWY (What the Fuck Is Wrong with You?), Doctor Who Classic
Radio Dead Air.com, Nash on TGWTG

(In a zombie situations, unless they are relevant)
Pros: Internet DJ (just as good if not better than a radio DJ), Nash has a smooth voice that can be used to calm and comfort people as he leads them to the safe haven of your home, he can help create new laws for after all the pleasantries of the current world have disintegrated to ash

Cons: No man can walk through that must shit without smelling it...meaning he will go crazy eventually don't be near him when he does, he might slow you down

Case Study: Survival of the Dead

I did a would-be review of this film a few weeks ago. From there you can already guess my conclusion for this article. But this is not a review this has absolutely nothing to do with my personal opinion on the merits of this film. This is a case study of “Survival of the Dead”. This is about what this movie has done to the genre. First a small summary of the plot and characters.

4 deserting National Guardsmen encounter a boy who claims safety and happiness are located on Plum Island after viewing a video saying that. The guardsmen soon find that the island is home to two feuding clans who differ on opinion of what should be done about the undead.

The characters and a summary of them are next.

Sarge "Nicotine" Crockett: There is no reason to call him Nicotine, he is referred to as Sarge throughout the entire film. He is the "main" focus of the movie and a dull character. He goes through what is supposed to be character growth, but never changes through the entire film. He acts like a selfish jerk when in reality he is supposed to be a soft hearted respectable character.

Kenny: Because the only character worth a full name is Sarge. Kenny is a kind hearted moron. He dies too fast to show any character growth.

Francisco: who throughout the film is only known as "Cisco" is a walking hard-on put in this movie only for comedic relief and to give the next character a chance at character growth.

Tomboy: The female protagonist. She is only there to keep this film form being nothing but men. We are introduced to her masturbating. Yes, she is masturbating the first time we see her. She only really shows emotion when Cisco is killed, her only motivation till then is to walk around and proclaim I'm a lesbian.

Boy: Yes just boy. He is to signify the thought of innocents even though he is just as unlikable as the rest of the characters. He is suppose to embody the hope of the next generation, and he is a failure at that, showing up only when the plot needs him and even then you will forget he exists the second he leaves the screen.

There are more but they go through no growth and mean absolutely nothing to the plot, except to kill the rest of the characters. No names are needed just the O'Flynns and Muldoons. “George A. Romero” was trying to make a western for this hopefully last chapter of the Dead series. He instead remade the story of the Hatfield’s and McCoy’s, with zombies. We are supposed to choose sides of the feud but both sides accomplish nothing. The O'Flynns want to kill the zombies and the Muldoons say they want to keep them and "fix" them. We don't get to Plum Island until a fourth of the way through the movie. From here we see the Muldoons have lost sight of their goals. Instead killing all the zombies who don't immediately show signs of their former lives and killing all those who come to the island. Including Kenny. While making their way to Plum Island Cisco is bitten and grows worse and worse until being shot.

The movie adds nothing good to the genre, in fact it attempts to break the "rules previously established by the former films. By making the zombies eat animals. The previous films had established that the zombies were only interested in people. There is one moment in the original film that goes against this where a zombie eats a grasshopper but all other films showed clearly that the zombies only wanted humans. Day of the Dead clearly shows zombies walking right past alligators. So this film attempts to go against the "rules" its predecessors set up.

Admittedly the original creator is behind it but I have to look at " The Metroid series" just like "The Dead Series" I feel the creator has lost touch with his own creation. All the previous films were trying to establish something. They had a message that the zombies were metaphorical meaning to other things like consumerism. Mr. Romero works it seems best when a point is attempting to be made, it seems now that he might be just cashing in on the series that rocketed him to fame.

In general I hate to say I wish I had never seen this movie so I could just assume its good, but sadly I bought it and I feel betrayed. If by some chance this reaches your eyes I ask you will all sincerity please don't make any more Dead films Mr. Romero.

This might have seemed like a review but I do not mean it to. This film adds nothing to the genre other than cementing that George A. Romero hasn't made a good film since " Land of the Dead" and that was lacking the punch of the previous films as well.

Also might I add that characters that aren't stupid halfway through the movie shouldn't immediately change and become the stupidest character. Jane O'Flynn is the worst character in any Romero Film.

Wow, I was weird.

I was stupid as a younger man that is no lie or secret. I was dumb. I did, said and wrote dumb things. But at the same time I have to admire how oblivious I was some times.

For a while I wanted to be a writer and every so often I actually wrote something good. But not all the time. And this is probably one of those times. When I was trying to be a writer I wrote an erotic story just to see if I could. Erotic novels are actually very hard to do well. You have to have the power of description and a pretty good lexicon so you can just say pussy over and over again and hope it turns out well. We've all heard badly written fan fiction and some of it is hilarious and some of it is just sad.

Erotic fiction was not made for everyone. I got a bit of constructive criticism and that was always nice but at the same time I got a lot of compliments.

The weird part is I didn't know what to write about so like whenever I feel like this I wrote about what I know. Zombies.

Yes I wrote a necrophilia erotic fiction story.

Raising the Dead pt 1

I made 4 chapters and I always think maybe I should retry it. Either way I'm telling you this because why not, right?

Who knows some people might even like it. Well back to whatever the hell I was doing.