Sexual Harassment Panda

Ok let’s start this out right. As far as I’m aware, I am not a furry. I hold nothing but respect for them and I say “As far as I am aware, I am not a furry.” because I could be. I’ve seen furry porn. I’ve used furry porn and I’m a big fan of furry art (Not even porn, just the use of anthropomorphic characters). That said this is a strange thing I’ve seen for a few years in my local Walmart.

From looking at this image I can see some things I’d consider odd but to start off let’s just look at it. I see this image and I think, it’s just kind of meh. But look closer at each individual character.

This is a cutesy giraffe. Nothing crazy. Nothing silly. Just a giraffe with a necklace that I think (personally) would appeal to little girls.

This is a cute little zebra. A little more punk rock with the mohawk mane, but still pretty simple. Not much standing out but to counter that punk rock attitude a cute little butterfly on her nose. I think it is reasonable to assume all of these characters are female. And I’m pretty sure this image has been her belong since before MLP became popular again so I think we can rule out them trying to use this to bring in the bronies. So this also seems to be pulling at the little girls.

I’m just going to stop you there and ask if you are thinking the same thing as me. Are you thinking…

“That panda wants the D?”

I’m serious how often do you see that pose without it meaning “Hey, look at me I’m hot.” But for the life of me I can’t figure out why they would use it.

Seriously I’ve walked past this thing to get to the chips hundreds of times and it still just irks me.

I Am Cracked.Com

So there exist quite a few internet based video producers and quite a few of them are groups of people. There are some people who like CollegeHumor, some who like Smosh, but myself I’m a Cracked kind of guy. I understand my position may make me a rebel. Yes it’s true I color outside the lines, I use pretzel rods as cigars and I like Cracked, even when it was just a magazine, I’m a rebel without a cause but I’m thinking cancer research would be a good one.

Personally Cracked is my favorite group of people who make entertaining content. They might not be as big as CollegeHumor or as successful as Smosh but I feel like they really push out premium content on a regular basis where as the other have more of a hit and miss record with me, personally.

CollegeHumor has a way around sketches that put most groups to shame but at the same time they never really hit you with any introspection. It’s always just, hey let’s make a sketch that takes something that was once not serious then make it super serious: Minesweeper, Street Fighter, Dora the Explorer. Or a list of the people you know using archetypes. By no means am I trying to insult them I mean Every so often CH makes a really good sketch or hits a satirical point in social media with pin point accuracy.



Smosh is really just random humor and music video. I understand people like that and I won’t denigrate them for the things they have done, they do certainly put work into them it just seems far too similar to each other. It’s just set up, then random thing, end of video.



Cracked however, I feel like they are constantly setting out interesting video and articles that deal with a little bit of everything. They have videos and books dealing with just about every possible thing. Want an in depth pop culture analysis on musicals? Cracked has a video about it. Want to know about all the cool things in history that you don’t know about because it seemed less than important in an educational spectrum? Cracked has a book about all the cool and interesting things in life that seemed less than necessary to know for school. Think all those movies based off of historical figures or events are so cool and you feel like these people were heroes of the highest caliber? Well guess what. Cracked wants you to know all those people were huge dicks!



I like Cracked. They are interesting. They push the boundaries and really entertain me. Now I’ll leave you with my favorite sketch they have ever made.

My thoughts on Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2014

So the trailer for the new TMNT movie has been released and needless to say I’ve seen mixed reactions. I know some people who have said “Wow, here I am defending the hell out of the new TMNT movie. I honestly never thought I would but after seeing the trailer and keeping up with it since it was first announced a good time back, I want to see it.”

And I’ve also seen people saying how much they don’t like the looks of the upcoming “Bay-Make”. “If you want to give your children nightmares, show them the new Turtles trailer. Terrifying”

Personally I have mixed feelings on what I’ve seen. It looks nowhere near as bad as I expected it to be, despite showing Megan Fox in the trailer doing that wide eyed mouth agape look she is known for like she doesn’t have any clue what she is doing there. But thankfully she isn’t talking. More to the point I am worried about this movie.

I had made the choice to not care about or even see this upcoming movie when it was first announced. I said I’m done Bay has made me angry for the last time with Transformers 3 and I am done seeing his movies. Then he announced that he had acquired the rights to TMNT and I got scared and angry because I knew he would ruin it. Some people said “Hey man, let’s see what happens. Remember the first Transformers? Maybe it’ll be okay.” Then he announced that the turtles would be aliens. And everyone, Everyone (!), freaked out! A big hubbub was made and Bay put the turtles on the shelf, then he announced he was working on it again and that the turtles would be turtles again and then he announced filmed was beginning.

It was announced that Megan Fox had been cast as April O’Neal and yet again the world went “FUCK!” again. Then we heard nothing for a while. People whispered about who should be cast, rumor sprung up that turtles of the past should be playing these new turtles then it happened. The first looks at the new turtles.

 

The reactions as usual were mixed. Personally while all my friends said “I like them!” and “They look much better than I thought they would.” and even “They look so cool!”. I sat on the sidelines thinking, they seem a bit bulky to be ninjas and the feudal look is a bit much for me. Personally I didn’t hate them however I didn’t care for it. But I pulled myself off the bench and got back in line for the film, so it wasn’t the worst thing I’ve ever seen.

Since then we have seen the trailer and I have to say of the 4 turtles we have heard 2 of them. Leonardo and Michelangelo are the only ones who speak in the trailer, as far as I am aware, however the voices of all of the turtles have been listed on Wikipedia, along with who will be playing Shredder and Splinter. The voices seem odd to me to hear these less than imposing voices coming from these very imposing turtles. The closest to fitting is Mikey but that is also debatable. I can only say you have to judge for yourself…

But I have to outright say. My biggest problem past the look of the turtles has to be the casting for Shredder and Splinter. How can that possible be my biggest problem with this upcoming (Possible) Childhood Dream Destroyer, with images of the actors doing motion capture like this.

Well to put it bluntly Shredder is a skinny old man from Drive Angry and Splinter is the dwarf I confuse for the dwarf from Sabrina the Teenage Witch. I cannot honestly put it any more plainly than that. I am by no means complaining for the casting of a dwarf as splinter, a white guy maybe, but not because he is a dwarf. I assume Splinter will be CG like the turtles but it could be that he is a puppet or even and actor in a suit, however unlikely that may be. My biggest problem is his voice, I have no idea how well I’ll be able to ignore the fact that the man who is splinter tried to kill Rorschach in Watchmen. Or that the Shredder is the 

 accountant from Drive Angry.

So I guess I just have to wait and see how this all goes and honestly I’m a little excited to see where this goes I am just afraid that this movie might kill the hype of the turtles again. Ever since the first cartoon the turtles have been around in some capacity and I love that! They haven’t been as big as they are though since the reboot in 2012. I walk through the toy departments and I see an entire aisle of TMNT toys, you pull one off the shelf and you can see no less than 25 other toys each a different character. And I am brought back to being a child and loving every second of TMNT Hype! I just fear that this movie could be so bad that it kills my joy and all the younger generations who are just getting into my childhood heroes.

I'm worried.

Yet Excited.

Vlogs on my Blog!

Hey time to post some vlogs! Ya I love doing vlogs but they can be a bit of work, editing and rendering but it is fun in the end.

So recently I had a thought while watching TomSka videos before I fell asleep.



And it does come off as bad but I really was just kind of messing around. Of course suicide is not a good thing but it is a serious thought. If you had to write a musical number around you killing yourself it would make the event a whole lot more enjoyable, not to mention the fact that they could then happen at anytime. A flash mob might turn into a mass suicide! Your dad could start singing show tunes and bam!

Next one is a little thought I had about RVT entertainment, formerly Revewtopia. In the end my point seems to have fallen short from just looking at the front page. I fully admit I don't usually think these thoughts through before I turn on the camera and during editing I counted out the videos and t seems pretty balanced counting every video that isn't a vlog or just announcement video. So without further ado, video 2.



Like I said it falls a bit flat but at the same time I thought they meant a little more like "shows" not vlogs or LP's. And like I said in the video I'm a fan of the site, but I'm curious about that would be change they offered. Past that not much new up, waiting to start my new job, spending a lot of time on reddit, I need to add more things to the "Babies-On-Fire" sub reddit. So if you'd be so cool as to check that out that'd be awesome. New PutzCast this week and an X-mas special this month to.

Far Cry 3 And it's Experience

So I decided to start a sub-reddit for my blog. That means literally nothing to most people but now I can post my stuff more places because let's face it I'm a bit conceded.

So past that I'm super broke, which isn't anything new but is really annoying. So I'm totally looking for a job so I can buy things like Far Cry 3. Why Far Cry 3? Just 1 word, Vaas. He seems like such and enjoyable antagonist. I say antagonist because I don't want to call him a bad guy since he doesn't seem like a bad guy, to me. Except for the fact that he takes your friends hostage and tortures and murders them for seemingly not reason other than he enjoys it.

I'm seriously just devouring everything I find about this game. Vaas is just too good of a character to not. I mean look at him!



He just looks awesome, he sounds awesome, he acts awesome. He is just from what I've seen a great "villain". He's got character and potential. He doesn't seem to be even like some gigantic dictator or anything. He is just a crazy. I'm assuming pirate, who keeps referring to the island you are on as his. He's either the boss of these mercenaries or just the most charismatic one of the group.

On top of all of that he is also played by a fantastically fun actor named Michael Mando who seems like he was also the inspiration for the characters look. But I can't prove that. He did however preform the motion capture for him. Maybe that does prove it but I don't know jack about Game design. Either way I can't get enough of this guy and really there seems to be a lot of media out there featuring him.

Like The Far Cry Experience. Starring Michael Mando and Christopher Mintz-Plasse. You know him. So Why am I talking about Vaas and Far Cry 3 so much? Because I want to play this game! I need a job! I need money. I need to see more Vaas! Oh also, ads!

Oh, I can't forget that  right now 12/01/2012 to 12/07/12 there is a vote happening to see is McLovin dies by Vaas' hands. And until that we get to watch him get tortured daily! Here! It's a whole lot of fun watching him hurt McLovin. And it's also fun waiting to see if he will die.



So be sure to check out the facebook page and vote in the poll to either kill or save Chris. I've done my part, now go out there and reek some havoc.

The Greatest Invention Ever: Hamburger Shoes

I had a great idea earlier it was hamburger shoes. That's right the greatest idea of a generation and it comes so easily to me. I don't claim to be a genius but I will gladly take the monicker thrust upon me like a Japanese schoolgirl on a bullet train. Not to say that it is true but I will tell you the truth of the following statement.

The Hamburger shoes are the greatest idea of this bright new century.

I have 3 bulleted statement to back up my genius as well as follow up to those beautiful some might even say holy points.

• The Hamburger shoes make winter not only the most bearable season but the most enjoyable.

For millennia mankind has searched for the proper way to keep his lower extremities not only dry but warm. The brilliancy of hamburger shoes not only allows for reheatable footwear but the buns keep the feet dry from the melting ice. Not only do these gift from the god in the form of footwear keep the feet dry and warm they also allow the masses to eat a delicious meal when they make it home if they are hunger or lost in the woods. No longer will people have to eat the leather of there shoes when their shoes are an amalgamation of beef, lettuce, tomato and pickles. the economy will boom with the constant purchase of these meal-icious mukluks.

• I mentioned that people could enjoy the delicious boots, but they could feed an entire family. And that is only 1 foot.

The sizes of each shoe would make these delicious shoes more than extra extra large and a single foot could feed a family of 3 with easy. An entire family could eat all winter on a single seasons footwear. Even while eating their shoes people could wear the remains keeping their tootsies toasty on toasted bread.

• The economy will boom with the creation of these fried footwear.

The prices fro these shoes would amount to the expense of a single hamburgers at your favorite fast food restaurant (not dollar menu of course). no longer would the world have to endure the fact that 3 year old's are making their cheap footwear in 3rd world countries. The global conscience would rise as well as the health rate for people walking for their meals. The world would become a planet of Jareds.

These are the reasons why the hamburger shoe is the great invention of the 21th century! I will accept all praise and fame you decide to throw at me. Thank you!

Maybe I'm just a n00b: Mortal Kombat

Nappa insists I'm wrong but I have to ask.

Do you like video games that are fun?

I know I do. It's the main reason I play video games. To have fun hear a story and interact with characters or people on a social level I'm not too happy with. It's an antisocial persons chance to be or at least act normal. Video games are truly an art form and I think you'd be hard pressed to find someone who disagrees with games like Red Dead Redemption, Journey and Forza 4. But even with lesser graphics just about anyone can enjoy games like Super Mario Bros., Final Fantasy 6 and Battlefield 3. But sometimes a game is really fun until you come up on a singular boss. And that boss is just a cheap fighter than destroys you and makes you take cheap shots on him to win. Bosses like Bear Walken from Gungrave, Shadow Link and Shao Kahn!

 

And this is all about the last one! Shao Kahn! I recently bought Mortal Kombat for the Xbox 360 and I was having a great time playing the story mode. Getting to play as most of the characters and I have to say it was great even when I was losing. Because when I lost a fight I knew I was just sucking to hard. Even when playing as Kitana, in my opinion the worst character in the game. I was still having a great time! Then I came across Shao Kahn for the first time in the game. And I tried to fight him only to be met with cheap tactics that just make the fight seem broken. I try to punch Shao Kahn in the face only to have my hit to absolutely nothing to him. When you hit a character it should affect him. It affected Goro, and he is a gigantic motherfucker! But not Chao Kahn, he just brushes it off and hits you in the face with his hammer. That fucking hammer! I'm certain everyone noticed that Kahn had at least 4 attacks with that damn hammer. And not only is hammer exceedingly powerful but it can hit you wherever you are. Why is the only really effective method of killing Shao Kahn to blast him with fire balls from across the screen? I am completely serious when I say that I have never, ever seen anyone beat Shao Kahn in the story mode with Liu Kang without just spamming the fireballs. I mean ya I smashed Shao Kahn’s head open with Raiden, without spamming, but seriously why can he beat everyone with his cheap ass moves?

I know I'm just bitching about a segment that I'm certain some people are totally cool with but it just irks me. I was having a great time playing and getting better at the game. Learning moves and combos and having a great time actually playing the game. But then Kahn comes up and destroys me constantly! Why can't you just up the difficulty but make him an actually character? Goro was tough the first time I fought him but I learned how to fight him, keep him off his feet and your set. Juggle as much as possible, sweep kick, jump kicks, combos. But Kahn just stops you dead in your tracks and breaks his foot off in your ass only to get another one to shove up your ass. I really like this game I do. It's great fun even when I lose but it's just so annoying to see a cheap tactic used to make it harder. As opposed to an actual learning curve.

If you want to call me a noob or something I understand but still it's really annoying to see that crap being pulled. I want a game that's hard but fair.

So hey if you ever want to play and beat the crap out of me in a game I'm always willing to play when I have the time!

So I hope you get where I'm coming from at least.

Gamertag: Zombifaction

Xbox 360

Thoughts on SOPA

Wow! It really hits you that if something like SOPA were to pass all the things we would lose. For the longest time all I ever did when I got some kind of message saying the internet was in danger of being censored was just sit and say there was no way it could happen. Well even if we are even closer to killing SOPA and the very notion of censorship on the greatest thing humanity has ever created the threat is always there.

And I mean it when I say it’s the greatest thing we have ever done. I mean I could talk to someone on the other side of the world for free! And have it be translated! We can share video from every minute of every day for the rest of our lives for free! We can say whatever we want! People who thought they were alone in their love of ponies have learned that there are others like them everywhere! Without the internet we wouldn’t know half the things we do. The ability to share information is the greatest thing we have ever done! Half the people who are either famous or working in media wouldn’t have the careers they have without the internet. Of course there are those cases that we wish never happened like Chris Crocker, Perez Hilton, and everyone who has ever made a sex tape.

But today I found something that I had never even imagined and it hit me how important the internet truly is to me. I found a Japanese man yodeling.Believe It!

Never in my wildest dreams had that thought ever even crossed my mind. Yes it’s not a pure product of the internet but without it I never would have know about this and my life would be darker without it.

The internet gives me the chance to express my view points about anything I want and of course let’s me try my hand in content creation.

In the simplest terms this is my home and I refuse to let someone destroy it.

P.S.
Yes this message was created specifically so I could share the yodeling. I love yodeling and this was great!

X-Men First Class: Awful of Terrible?

I hate when I see something and no one else does. I look up while reading a book in my local books a million and bam, a clown holding balloons signaling for me to come over and die...

But what is worse is when I see something that is very much real and no one else sees it the same way. And for that reason I'm the only guy who sees how bad X-men First Class is!

Seriously this is the second worst movie I saw all year! It is only second to Transformers Dark of the Moon. "But Zombi it was the very thing that the X-men series needed! It made the X-men cool again." ok I hear you. I think your wrong but I understand why you say that. It wasn't the absolute worst X-men movie. X-men Origins: Wolverine.

But let's make a bulleted list and go through these points why this is such a terrible movie.

• ·         These aren't the first X-men class.
• ·         Who are these people?
• ·         There is no continuity!
• ·         The makeup effects were the worst of the year.
• ·         My Nazi senses are tingling.
• ·         Bacon the worst Nazi ever!
• ·         Beast the worlds’ dumbest genius!

This isn't the first X-men class. The original class consisted of Cyclops, Iceman, Beast, Angel and Jean Grey (Marvel Girl) and Professor X. In this movie we get such characters as Darwin, a wasted talent who died before getting to do anything because he was a better actor than the rest of the cast. Havok, Cyclops’s YOUNGER brother. Angel, the stripper with bug wings, whom they could have called pixie and her name would have made more sense. Beast, who is in love with mystique and hates his "freak" body which allows him to be the greatest athlete in the world. Oh can’t forget it's only "flaw" is monkey feet. Not even a tail...I would kill for money feet and tail! Mystique who is now Prof. X's "adopted sister and has body issues. The character who can become anyone/anything has body issues. And Banshee who is supposed to be Irish and is just a whiney teen who has no real personality. And that is one of the biggest problems. No one has personality in the X-men. Havok is a jockey douche. Beast is a pouty nerd. Mystique is the cheerleader who throws up because she hates her look. These are High school stereotypes! These characters get no real change in the way they think or act. They "grow closer" in a montage but none of them get real personalities.

I can name 2 villains on the brotherhood side. Sebastian Shaw played by Kevin Bacon and Azazel. I have no idea anything about Azazel other than he is Russian and evidentially Nightcrawler’s father. And really I only guessed that because of the tail and being a primary color. I can't tell you any of the other antagonist’s names from this film. Do you remember the guy who made tornados? Do you remember him adding anything to the plot other than being there? Oh wait Emma Frost was there. But she was supposed to be locked up in a mutant prison thing. Ok doing a bit of research has shown that the movie takes place in 1962 during the Cuban Missile Crisis. Wolverine is fighting in the Vietnam War in the opening credits to his movie X-Men Origins: Wolverine. And taking all that in mind Emma shouldn't even be there she should be somewhere in elementary to middle school!

And that just brings up more questions. There is no continuity in these films. They have a set time line from 4 movies and none of it makes sense. Charles can walk in Wolverine but he loses his ability to walk in the end of this one! Magneto and Prof. X met Wolverine and neither of them remember it at all! How does Moira MacTaggert know Charles in the 3rd movie if he erases her memory at the end of this one? Why does he erase her memory? Why does Magneto explain what the helmet is for in the first movie when Sebastian made the helmet and Charles already knew? But that movie came first they couldn't have...Yes they could have! They have previously set up this continuity! They can bend and work so it fits!

The makeup effects where the absolute worst I had seen all year! Beast looks like a freak reject from cats! Kelsey Grammer as beast looked sensational not to mention being perfectly cast. Mystique looked awful! We have 3 full movies of Rebecca Romijn proving that the Mystique makeup can not only be good but fucking amazing! Before I could find porn I could fap to Rebecca Romijn in X-men, easy! Yet this movie just makes Beast and Mystique look awful! Why has no one mentioned these flaws in any review I have seen?

 

How does Magneto find all these Nazis? Ok I got torture works but there is no way all these Nazis just know where each other are. That would be the stupidest plan ever. Disband the 3rd Reich but let's make sure we stay in contact so we can have a reunion.

Do I have to say more?

When watching this I had the highest of hopes. I had heard nothing but good things about this movie! I heard great things about Kevin Bacon being the villain and that was astounding. And for the first few minutes I agreed. Then we got a look at the other side of his office. Why would a Nazi bring a super powered Jew into his concentration camp office offer him candy and then threaten him, then kill his mother in front of him with a room full of metal death right next door? Why did Magneto not just stab him with his super metal powers? Why does it all play out like this? Why not kill the Nazis with your super magnet powers? Kill the guy who just shot your mother! In front of you! He's right there!

Why does Breast freak out about his mutant power? His only physical flaw if you can call it that is he has hand feet. He bitches and moans about not being normal. He was living basically a normal life until Charles outted him. He can hide his power by wearing fucking SHOES! Socks even! Unless you're wearing sandals no one will ever know! No one has pretty feet! They are fucking feet! Put shoes on and walk over your river of tears!

And these are the reasons I hate this movie so much! Why does no one else notice this crap?! People are putting this movie on their best of 2011 lists? Why?! It's just so bad!

The Doctor is Out

As a living breathing person I have a healthy interest in death. Wow after saying that I realize the true irony of that sentence. But when I booted up my computer a few days ago I saw a little news flash on my homepage that made me a little sad. The world renowned Doctor of Death died. Yet again the irony is palpable. But when I was a young man or should I say boy I did a research paper on Medical Assisted Suicide for school. Aside from being the only suicide that I could condone I found that there were a few things about the subject most people don't know or don't think about. In general I don't quite follow the name Medical assisted suicide, but of course it is the best name to use since Medical assisted murder is very much a difference in what the act actually is. Most people call it euthanasia but at the same time that is wrong.

The difference between euthanasia and Medical Assisted Suicide is the very chose of it. Euthanasia is what you do to a pet when they grow too old or too sick to be the vibrant friend they once were. There is no actual choice in the matter when euthanasia is the subject. You can't euthanize your grandparents when they get old that is pure and simple murder, not to be confused with pulling the plug on a vegetative relative or loved one. While medical assisted suicide is exactly what it sounds like. It is the process of having a doctor administer a lethal amount of drugs most likely a sedative to send the patient into a calming sleep that will then stop the brain and heart functions killing them nearly painlessly, well that is what all the books I read while studying the subject. The biggest reason to do something like this would be if you are in too much pain that you would rather die now than live on suffering. People suffering from severe forms of cancer sometime choose this option rather than suffer through chemotherapy. Chemo is defiantly a god send in comparison to not having it but at the same time it is not an easy process.

But I'm not here to talk about chemo therapy I'm here to give my thoughts on the late Doctor.

Dr. Jack Kevorkian (Born May 26, 1928, died June 3, 2011)
Kevorkian started advertising in Detroit newspapers in 1987 as a physician consultant for "death counseling". His first public assisted suicide was in 1990, of Janet Adkins, a 54-year-old woman diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease in 1989. He was charged with murder, but charges were dropped on December 13, 1990 as there were, at that time, no laws in Michigan regarding assisted suicide. However, in 1991 the State of Michigan revoked Kevorkian's medical license and made it clear that given his actions, he was no longer permitted to practice medicine or to work with patients. Between 1990 and 1998, Kevorkian assisted in the deaths of 130 terminally ill people, according to his lawyer Geoffrey Fieger. In each of these cases, the individuals themselves allegedly took the final action which resulted in their own deaths. Kevorkian allegedly assisted only by attaching the individual to a euthanasia device that he had made. The individual then pushed a button which released the drugs or chemicals that would end his or her own life. Two deaths were assisted by means of a device which delivered the euthanizing drugs mechanically through an I.V. Kevorkian called it a "Thanatron" (death machine). Other people were assisted by a device which employed a gas mask fed by a canister of carbon monoxide which was called “Mercitron " (mercy machine).

But with his death we lose a man who was only trying to help others, just like the oath he took as a doctor asked him to. With his death we lose a good man.

I'm (not) a Creeper!

I really don’t try to look or act like a creeper, but I am constantly getting into situations that make me look like it. The only girls who want to date me are young girls which is a terrible idea unless you want people to think you’re a pedophile. A small side note I don’t want to be seen as one.

Even at my first convention I was dressed as “Master Roshi” of “Dragon Ball” and really that was my fault. But I was asked to take pictures that made me look like a creeper and even High 5’d the “Pedobear”. Good side note the only actually “mature” picture was me groping a hot black chick. Best part of the con, even better than the…Sailor Moon Hentai panel…Damn it, that probably doesn’t help my case.

I really did go to see what it was about because the pamphlet said “Sailor Moon Hentai” and I thought there is no way they will just show porn, but I had never been to a con so who was I to consider it. It was about the impact of Sailor Moon on Hentai, it was very informative and educational, except I had to sit next to “Bla-tachi” (Black “Itachi”, I think I can’t tell “Narutards” apart) who wouldn’t shut up and kept making loud and interrupting jokes about me being Roshi at a hentai panel.

But back to the point. Now “Facebook” is trying to make me look like a creeper to. See…

I really don’t try to come off like this but sadly I think I’m stuck with it. I need a girlfriend to get this image at least a little away from me.

The News: This Just In!

And after years of lies the truth was revealed, Hot pockets don’t go in your pants. We’ll be back with News at eleven.

Hello welcome back this is News at eleven the time is currently three in the morning and a bit of breaking news. A mad scientist has taken over New York, the state not the city. When asked about this he said I’m not mad just a little miffed.

Holocaust survivor Smadolf Smitler, died today in the Jewish rest home he hated so much. His suicide note said all he wanted was to leave but children I’m quoting here “Jewed him into this hellhole.”

He will be missed by someone...I'm sure someone will.

On a lighter note the black art community has decided to officially announce that they will not allow the term colored people since according to the art world black is the absence of color.

So white people have taken it upon themselves to call them empty. Viewing this as racist the Black art community has decided to erect a large painting showing their feeling but seeing as how it’s “modern art” no one understands what it means.

Title: Where's Whitey.

It seems the trend of bagged milk has come to America from its brother to the north Canada. When faced with this change people protesters formed groups milking cows into pales reading plastic not paper.

On a related note the president of the organization PETA has been impeached for racist remarks against a Dalmatian.

She said “That Mulatto bitch pissed on my floor.”

She also abuses children for fun.

Would You Be A "Good" Dalek?

I've never really seen Dr. Who, I'm sad to say I've seen 1 full episode of the 9th doctors run. And even that had nothing to do with the Dalek race. I've become more and more interested with this series because of people like Welshy and Phelous talking about the series and characters. And from that I watched more people talk about it, but not the episode oddly enough. And from this I see the Dalek race. And I think wow these are really strange characters. Nothing scary but they seem to be a big power in the Dr. Who universe. And with that one line hits my brain hard "You would make a good Dalek."

My Doctor.

And I have to ask, would you make a good Dalek? I think I might and I can't help but feel that is a bad thing. The Dalek seem to be as terrible race of creature who wants nothing more than to kill and conquer everything. Admittedly I don't want to kill and conquer everything...anymore. I was a weird kid trust me its better left unmentioned.

They look like Roach motels, suited to Exterminate!

That quote I mentioned earlier really needs a bit of context. The doctor is face to face, so to speak, with the "last" Dalek. A creature he thought dead. Filled with rage and hatred he orders the Dalek to kill itself. And with that my first thought is, I'm not filled with rage and hate at least not all the time. From the little bit of research I've done on the Daleks They have only 2 emotions, hate and fear the latter of which is harder to find in the Daleks, not counting the 9th doctor who could do it with ease.

He can be rather creepy.

You could always call them basically the same emotion hate and fear because we as a race hate what we fear/don't understand. But like the title says would you make a good Dalek?

The only reason I could even think I could is because I tend to fly off the handle pretty easy. Earlier today I was walking and someone slowed down and yelled something at me. I wear headphone nearly constantly and therefore I couldn't hear her but my first thought was I hope she doesn't come back and repeat it. Because the second I saw the girl yell something at me my first thoughts were “How could I make this person want to die?” I instantly started thinking of ways I could insult this person so they would either start cutting themselves or at least never want to talk to someone randomly again. I understand this probably makes me a terrible person but sadly it is exactly the kind of person I am. I think of ways to make people hate me. I don't even know why I do it. But the second I meet someone I think instantly of the way they could insult me and the perfect way I could hit them back.



 I can be a complete and utter prick sometimes. I remember once I was in a game shop and someone said something to me that I took offense to. Because when you say no offense, fuck you. But he didn't say “No offense” so it doesn't really matter. But when he insulted me I insulted him and I kept going hoping to hurt him mentally. And later when questioned about it I said I did it because isn't that what an insult is meant to do, hurt the recipient? At least that is how I always viewed it. I wouldn't insult Hitler if I didn't mean it.

The bear Jew?

So from that thought, I thought I might make a pretty good Dalek. But now I think I'd make a terrible Dalek. The Dalek can only really feel fear and hate, while I fluxuate through most emotions pretty randomly. And by that I mean I'm happy most of the time until I come across something like a door that won't open in which case I will fly directly off the hook and threaten to and I quote "slit its fucking throat and rape its sister" and keep in mind only to the door knob.

Fuck you I refuse!

So I can only think maybe I need a bit of help dealing with strangers and I should drink more frozen drinks because I tend to be calmer when I do. So I'm going to go and get one now. I'd be a pretty bad Dalek, I guess.

Fuck diabetes, I won't die so easy.

Let's Call it a Journal 2-3/3/2011

Not having a job or a life can really suck some times. All I really have to do with, my life is watch TV (Internet TV) and look at porn. Of course the latter is always more fun but still it can become boring. The first year after high school I got tired of sleeping and ever since have been trying to find a job. I was then to but I was much more relaxed about it. I've been tirelessly search now for about another year since my last 1. I worked for a pizza chain let's call it "Mittle Smeasars" and they let me go because they fired just about fucking everyone, yet they are still in business. And now the time has come I've fixed my sights on another job at a bakery/thrift store and I'm going in tomorrow for interviews and applications. Til then I'm preoccupying my time with a shoujo series called "Please Teacher!" which of course makes me miss having a girlfriend.

Pretty girls can be creepy to.

But then of course my love life is terrible. My first girlfriend would punch me in the face, and not just a silly "aww punch" but a serious punch in the face for no reason.

Like that but she came in from the cheek.

All I want in life is a sweet girlfriend who isn't afraid of sex...yes this sounds terrible but all the girls I know hate sex and that is sad. I'm not going to lie and say sex isn't important, I'm a realist and of course it is, but at the same time I want a girl who is strong enough to fight with me against the zombie hordes...like I said a realist.

She will rape you!

Is it so wrong to want a strong woman to stand by your side? Is it so hard to find a "Strong" woman who doesn't look like a lumberjack? I just want a willfully strong girl, who can be really hot or at least a 5...Shut up I know I am a bad person.

Is that a T-Mobile shirt?

Maybe I'll just have to wait for a zombie girl...it could be worse I guess.

Yes she's a zombie.

Who knows I could get lucky.

My Kind of Magazine!

Alright other than being a zombie nut I'm also a guy so obviously I do have other thoughts on my mind than the undead...except in 2 small occurrences but that doesn't count and I'll talk about that some other time. Till then, one of the biggest things on my mind other than food and the undead is women. I have had a few girl friends in the past and I'd had my share of crazies including the one who punched me in the face on our first date. But not all women are bad. But sadly all men are pig. We fantasize about sex every 7 seconds or so and I don't think that ever stops. And I have a magazine that seems to agree with me.

Ladies and Gentlemen I present to you...

Girls and Corpses Magazine.

Yes indeed there is a magazine out there for everyone and I think I might have just found mine. Girls and corpses features articles and interviews with all sorts horror/comedy related pieces of news and information.

"We offer an alternative to fans of horror stalwarts Fangoria and Rue Morgue, by serving some guffaws with our gore." ~ GirlsandCorpses.com

And I will answer your question right now...Yes, they are real corpses.

There is no trick photography here. These are real girls and real corpses. And now you’re probably thinking
"1. I need to throw up.
2. How are these girls not dying from the diseases associated with rotting corpses?"

Well no that is not how they replenish corpses, by killing their models. That’s just sick...good business strategy though, never have to pay them.

The basic idea is that the corpses are cleaned and dried out so all safety precautions have been taken to insure the safety and health of the models. Also there is no threat of the corpses coming back for obvious reasons not to mention all the guts are gone and things like eyes have been replaced with false eyes, if needed.

As of this date I am not sure if this magazine is still in print the website is rather old it would seem but none the less it seems as though you are still able to purchase the back issues if you so choose to.

And I am very proud to say that from now on The Undeaducation Blog will feature a direct link to the Girls and Corpses site.

There is no need for you to worry...They'll be stiff for you.

Most Asked Questions:
Are your corpses real? Do you dig them up?
http://www.girlsandcorpses.com/monthly/questions.html

Does the future seem a little bleaker?

Let's call it a Journal

Alright just consider this what blogs were originally an online diary...let's call it a journal.

I'll do this every so often and sometimes I'll just make it a video. But I just logged on and my homepage loves to give me little pictures that are related to a story. And then I saw this one...

The intro text says "Tyson Finds Peace in Unusual Source"

And my first thought was strangling pigeons? I mean yeah I've heard he can be a bit of a psycho but shouldn’t someone stop him?

Alright past that I have learned from a friend of a friend that if you mix Mountain Dew and Blue Berry Icees you get a delicious green mix.

More recently while I was at my local Books-A-Million, one of the only book stores in my city, which bothers me. I saw a book and my first thought was...let's say less than kind.

And my first thought was "How did you write the book?" which is a serious question but of course I could be wrong maybe on the cover it says dictated not written. And I understand I am probably a terrible person but I view it as an equal opportunity thought process. I don't discriminate against people. If this guy walked...hopped....let's say rolled on to an elevator I was in, I wouldn't stand there and think wow that’s weird. I'd take his wallet and knock him over just to see what he would do. Ok, maybe not but still...I'm curious.

Does it make me a bad person for thinking things like this? I saw a man taking donations for a wheelchair rugby team called “Sudden Impact” and I thought “Wow, that’s slightly ironic.” No one else seems to get that either. You know a force of sudden impact can cause paraplegia.

If that doesn’t seal your opinion f me I’m happy but then again I need to also say that I learned something more recently. And by learned I mean realized it. That joke we all heard as children “What black and white and read all over?” a newspaper and that should be obvious. Especially in print but I never understood it. I always thought “Black, white and red all over” and then it hit me! Read in its past tense is pronounced red. Fuck me I’m dumb sometimes. So please don’t judge me on the newspaper joke judge me on just about anything else.

So past that I guess I've got nothing better going on in my life. So I'm gonna go get a drink.

Till next time.